On the Couch with CA

Today marks a year when Mathew introduced himself to me and within the first hour I got to know that he was not going to let me out of his sight, no matter what. Our relationship lasted all of 8 months to the day before he passed away. Together we created many memorable moments, especially in the last three weeks of his life and he would always end it with saying "at least I got to spend more time with you" . It was only after his passing did I realise how much those words meant for him and what it would mean for me. All Mathew ever wanted from anyone was that they walked beside him and not judge him. I often got told, "I don't want you in front of me, I don't want you behind me, I just want you beside me (glancing to his left side) holding my hand" . He thanked me for being there in his darkest hours and giving him the peace he so longed for and the belief that he was going to be okay. We never hid our relationship behind closed doors. Instead, w...

Started writing the following piece at the beginning of 2015 - This was before I knew that I was going to enter a new PERIOD in my life. The only conclusion I can come to as to why it was not finished or published is that I probably got interrupted by the boss.  Yep let me just blame him for this one. LOL However, I think it is worth a share anyway, considering how everything turned out after all - the point I was trying to make - life is unpredictable (including the boss interrupting me). "Just in case you thought I gave up on blogging.  Here I am again putting you in the clear. 2014 was a roller coaster year, especially in terms of my health.  I am not one to get sick very often and when I do, it really takes its toll on my well-being.  But sometimes it is necessary to get sick in order to reflect on what is important in life. Most of my ill-health was due to the dampness I was living in from being subjected to two pipe bursts in the previous place I...

This is dedicated to everyone who has been in a relationship and have, or tried to move on after a split from someone they use to love. Or perhaps you are this person that finds the need to make contact with an ex. At first, I was a bit hesitant to put this out in the public space, but then realised, and with some coaxing from a few friends, I am not alone in this situation. Just the other day, I was telling my daughter that although I started very late (i.e. 21/23 years old) in having a "BF" (boyfriend) in comparison to the norm nowadays, I have more than had my fair share of the opposite gender. Even though no names have been mentioned to protect the identity of the receiver of this note, however, if by any chance you do recognise it, then please accept it for what it is. I am sure there is something you can learn from this too. "Dear Ex Boyfriend I have unblocked you for the next 48 hours (FB allowance) so that I can explain my "Lecture" to you. Pe...

On the Couch with CA: The Truth Lies in the Ash

16 June 2016, forty years after the youth took up the cudgels to bring down apartheid, I found myself amongst a community in Bonteheuwel, celebrating the life of a fallen hero, Ashley Kriel.  The screening of "Action Kommadant" a documentary film by Nadine Cloete, brought back many memories of that time, of which I feel the urgency to record the role I played during that time, a role which I felt was pretty much one that was in the background, until my dear friend and mentor, Marie-Louise Samuels said to me that I was never just in the background.   It made me think about the importance of my role at the time, and perhaps, for lack of wanting to be in the spotlight, I never paid much attention to it, contrary to what some people think.  Just because I am vocal does not mean I want to be seen.   I entered the Catholic Youth Movement (known later as the Archdiocesan Youth Movement "AYM" ) when I was age 13 and a youth member at Holy Cross Church...

In the words of Charles Dickens " It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." This man Dickens was a wise one. This introductory line basically sums up what has being going on in the last year of my life since 14 August 2014 that it has been difficult to write about any one subject in particular.  Every time I tried to start a blog, some new life event was taking centre stage.  But like you all know by now...