On the Couch with CA

As a child I loved sitting on the pantry floor amongst the cast-iron pots and pans.  My favorite pan was the steel ring-cake mould and the lid of the largest pot I knew.   I would sit there for hours knocking the lid of the pot against the mould just because I loved the sound of it.  I think that was my first introduction to music and then of course being introduced to ballet lessons and having to dance to the sound of the piano was the next. I have an affinity to music of various cultures and I think it is because it is in my blood. I could probably be described as being AfricanEurAsian or the whole United Nations rolled into one.  Put me anywhere in the world and you would think that  I belonged there.  A new friend asked me recently if I had Chinese blood in me.  My answer was every blood you can think of.    In my country South Africa, I am classified "coloured"  a term I hate as no-one should be classified anything but as...

Sometimes we have to really dig deep in order to find out why we behave in a certain way when faced with challenges or just simple kind gestures from others.  The "walls" we build up around us to keep out affection, love, disappointment, failure and every other emotion that we perceive will hurt us are all just bricks that started out as straw.  I never believed for one moment in my life that I was beautiful, intelligent, talented, even a genius for that matter until one morning in about 2011 I woke up and looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful I really am.  I always thought that I was never good enough because: I came from a "broken home"; I came from District Six; I got blamed for my mother not being able to wear a wedding dress; I was not as pretty as one of my sisters; I was my father's favourite who was considered to be "no good" ; The list goes on forever until I realised that the broken home was not of my doing....

It is said that the first two years of one's life defines the emotional person you become. I was fortunate enough to be relayed the events of what occurred around the time when my mother gave birth to me on 26 July 1965.  I being the eldest of five siblings was the only one born outside of the family home in District Six.  Three days after my birth my mother's sister died and as far as I know, she was unable to attend her funeral. When my mother brought me home from the maternity home her uncle my grandmother's brother immediately took over looking after me. And so for the first five years of my life he could go nowhere without me by his side except for one day which I remember as though it was yesterday.  He left me at home to attend his best friend's funeral.  I stood at the closed front-door crying until he returned.  I could hear my mother calling from the kitchen for me to stop crying and telling me that uncle Tommy was going to come back. I think ...

It has taken me a long time to take this first step to do my calling.  Always worried about what others are going to think or say until I realised that, it is not important what others think of me or what they are going to say, but rather what I think and say about myself. A few years back (not too long ago) it dawned on me that my purpose in this life is to come into yours for however long it is going to take for me to help you find your purpose and then to move on.  It is not always a pleasant situation to be in, because sometimes I get too attached and I can't let go, and then I have to begin the self-healing all over again.  I hope that this blog, will take us on a journey to discovering who we are, and what our purpose in this life is. Welcome to my world and enjoy the ride. CA