A Million Pieces of Blame

The following letter is dedicated to all the mothers and fathers who find themselves in my shoes.

"Dear Daughter

Contrary to what you believe, that I am controlling you, the reality is that I have no control over you.

You have constantly blamed me for all your downfalls and reminders that you did not ask to be here.  Well guess what?  Neither did I ask to be here, but as a single parent I am trying to do the best I can with what I have in the circumstances I find myself. 

The world is full of blamers but we don't all hold who we think is responsible for our downfalls as hostages, hoping that we are going to get ahead in life.  We pick ourselves up from out of the darkness we find ourselves in and try to make light of the situation as best we can.  There is enough war in the world as proof of everyone blaming each other for something or the other, we do not need it in the home.

Those days of you trying to blame me for dropping out of school, for the size you have become, and just about everything else that could possibly be wrong in your life is now drawing to an end.

I have taken care of you from the time you were just a little seed growing inside of me until now, just 3 and a half months shy of you officially being classified as an adult (i.e. 21 years old) and I am grateful for the fact that you have not gone down a path of drugs or crime like so many young adults find themselves.

As a healthy adult (without any physical disabilities) at the age of 21, you are no longer my responsibility but while you are under my roof with me footing all the bills, you live by my rules. 

I am still willing to pay for your studies if you wish to pursue it, but other than that, you are now required to contribute to your living expenses (i.e. food, rent, electricity, transport, entertainment, airtime, clothes etc etc).  The bottom line is you need to find yourself a job as a matter of urgency.

I am not going to be around forever.  As a matter of fact, if I live past 60 it will be a bonus on my life.  So while I still have a life, I would like to make the most of it by going on adventures, seeing who I want to see, and just basically enjoying life without having to worry about what is going to become of you should I die tomorrow.

The energy you spend on the blame game could be put to better use with all the amazing talents you have.  You are beautiful on the outside but when your rudeness shows up you become ugly.

Thank you for shattering the antique vase I got from an aunt who got it as a wedding gift almost 100 years ago just because you could not have your last word.

Some things in life cannot be replaced, especially the years that have passed, so take a moment to think about your actions because the universe has a strange way of going around in circles.

In normal circumstances a mother would end a letter with "I love you" but under the circumstances it is very difficult for me to express those words except to say that I tried through raising you to show you that I love you.

Your mother"